WASHINGTON (The Trough) — Dispatch from the edge of the sensory matrix: Following reports of a mass delusion in which 64 percent of Americans falsely believe the country is engaged in a catastrophic Middle Eastern war, the White House has officially advised citizens to unplug their Patriotism Hardware, wait thirty seconds, and plug it back in.

The critical troubleshooting directive comes as millions of voters report severe rendering errors. Citizens claim to be hallucinating unpaid TSA agents sleeping on luggage carousels and imagining a 34 percent spike in fuel prices. Administration officials insist the republic is functioning flawlessly, blaming the grim visions on outdated voter wetware.

"If you are seeing a 36 percent approval rating or feeling the physical sensation of economic dread, your American Dream algorithm has simply corrupted its cache," said Gary Furlong, Undersecretary of Cognitive Maintenance, speaking breathlessly from an undisclosed bunker. "We recommend performing a hard reset by staring directly at a flag until the user interface clears."

Internal memos obtained by The Trough indicate the crisis is spreading. Voters are reportedly suffering from "phantom policy syndrome," falsely remembering that the One Big Beautiful Bill was supposed to fund the very border agencies currently shut down.

"It is a known bug where users think we are fighting a regime the President already declared non-existent," said a high-level source known only as Deep Barrel. "The reality matrix is fine. You just have to force-quit your perception of objective facts."

At press time, tech support confirmed that anyone still experiencing the sensation of a crumbling empire after rebooting will simply have to survive until the 2028 patch.